We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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