Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
