Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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