He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
