I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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