you guys were way drunker than both of me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
