Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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