Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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