But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
