I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
