4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
