Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
