I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
