I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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