i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
did i just pee glitter
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
