Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
