i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
