are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
