that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
