I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
