You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
