There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
what day is it and did you see me today?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I would fuck him just for his dog
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
