she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
