I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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