i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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