..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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