Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
