I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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