I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
