I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
