i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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