the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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