so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
