its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
