Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
