My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
