She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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