you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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