i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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