your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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