So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
