He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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