And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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