He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
