someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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