I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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