So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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