I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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