the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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