she was so not down for the gang bang
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
