Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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